T minus 3 days.  


Today I discovered  I am not doing a triathlon.  I am doing a quadathlon.  Swim.  Bike.  Run.  Transition.

I have no idea.  I am already lost.  I don't know the rules.  And, apparently, there are many rules.  When you finish your swim, you get out of the bay, transition onto your bike, and head out.  When you finish the biking portion, you transition off your bike, put your running shoes on and start the run.   You make these transitions in a transition area.  Where everyone else is transitioning.  Where everyone else knows what they are doing.
 First of all, you can't get in other racers way.  Apparently, this is frowned upon.  Greatly.   (sidebar:  Swimmers, cyclists and runners are quite different and operate under different rules in general I have come to realize. Different etiquette rules.   Runners are nice to each other.  Always.  You see another runner, you smile, you say hi.  Last week on my run I saw a big group of runners approaching.  They all said hi when they passed.  I "hi'd" them back.  Two miles later we were going to pass each other again.  Except the group had split up. Into many little groups.  Many, many little groups.  And since they were all runners, they said hi.  And since I am a runner, I said hi.  And hi.  And hi.  And hi.  On and on.  And on.   My pace started to slow.  The 'hi's" were taking their toll.  By the time the stragglers at the end of the line saw me coming  their cheery "hi's" changed to encouraging "looking good"s  and "you can do it," and "almost there."   I wanted to shout out that I would look a lot better if I didn't have to use all my breath to say hi to all you ten million people but, because I am a runner and those are the rules, I just said hi.  Swimmers and cyclists, however, are a whole different breed. They don't say hi.  Ever.  Swimmers remind me of the nurses I know that always choose to work the night shift.  You can't quite figure out why but they are definitely a little bit off. And cyclists, well, forget it.  I have tried.  I have really tried.  I say hi.  Nothing.  I do a down-low wave.  Nothing.  Up-high wave.  Nada.  Cyclists do not say hi. They do not even make eye contact.  They are too busy looking cool in their day-glo jerseys).
  Transition.  Follow the rules.  Survive the swim.  Drag your water logged body out of the bay.   Quickly find your bike in the sea of bikes.  Don't hop on someone else's bike.  Follow some sort of rule about not  knocking over all the other bikes.  Get through the transition area without getting tapped on the shoulder, tag you're out.   Bike for five thousand miles.   Enter the second transition area.  More rules.  Pass here, don't pass there,  walk there, don't even think about walking there,  don't cross this line until you do this, don't cross that line at all, tie your shoes, turn around, jump up and down, touch your nose.

Simon says "help."